Part 2

I dream of you

We were in a circle with a “choir” on a rectangular typical classroom but no benches. You, an actor, I, an apprentice. The whole group, a company of theatre. And know that I’m typing it, its funny that I came close to you, concern about your height- I’m a tall woman- or about your reaction. I was curious and asked to the dream: He would see me? Will he talk, vanish or turn into a blurred figure? I was dismayed.

Immediately, I caught your attention. What a relief! We started to look at each other and then I observed I had the attention jumping on three things: you, the professor and my behavior in this dream.

A note to the reader: Daylight, I am a student of experimental theatre / At night, a dreamer so what I count in the dream, is real in the dream, not in the awake life. yet…

It was so delightful to found you in my dreams and felt that my new experience learning theatre was years ago, yours.  You a graduate, I a novice, together with a commonplace. So when we started a conversation, I explained that one of my works, I rehearsed it on a corner near the school, on an old theatre that now it’s been refurbished. I remember how confident I was narrating how I get the opportunity to convince the people in charge to let me present a scenario for the acting program of the school before restoration occurred.

While I was counting you this, a friend was helping me to remember details of my work. She said- “You were a book! an old dusty book”.  So I kept telling, how I recreated a scene of mystery and transformed a room into an atmosphere of a vintage cafeteria, playing to be a woman pop out from an old giant book.

It’s complicated to structure and present dreams but for me, it’s important to share that a new complexity unfolded. Awake, I realize I was connecting memories, pieces of rich and symbolic narrations. Dreaming, I watched how I was enjoying brushing up a memory trapped in a dream, observing a story unfolding another story. I was counting you every detail with passion, like the attrezo used for my presentation: white powder, a crystal ball, candles, branches. And all of this feels fresh in me, the permission to explore stories and this unlimited unconscious self, that plays and creates its own worlds.

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Alfred Cheney Johnston and the Ziegfeld Hula Hoop Nudes Mystery

In another part of this lucid dream, the director of the school, said to me: “don’t forget the respect of your place”. Why did she say that? With a straight voice, very calm she pointed that I was seated very close to her, not in the position of a learner.  Because I was excited, my attention passed from you, to the desire to participate.  With this alert from the director, I react and re-focused on the class. I explored the dynamic of it, where we were asked to make a song and to improvise.

That showed me a very important lesson. I could watch and accept that while I was worried about your presence inside of this narrative, I was losing perspective. Also, the more I wanted to control and the more I wanted attention, the less I could enjoy the dream.  But right when I started talking about my performance and touching that creative oniric memory, in a very strong way, I tapped a force.

The dream, in my interpretation, was an illustrated mirror of my here and now. The more I get close to me, investigating what I naturally want to share with others, the more I establish a bond with you, with all. A relation from a center, from a self-nurtured woman that wants to respect its own place. I’m learning, I´m allowing to unfold and observe when I lose, when I control or overflow … I’m remembering how to love

 

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